Big Sneaky Barbarian 2: A LitRPG Novel by Seth McDuffee

Author:Seth McDuffee [McDuffee, Seth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Podium Publishing
Published: 2023-07-18T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

TROPES

Are you sure about this, Loon?” Rua asked, her tone admitting a lack of confidence for the first time I’d seen since we’d reencountered one another in this world. In the old world, she might’ve given me a million reasons as to why what I was thinking of doing was a bad idea or tried to rationalize the absolute insanity of the danger involved in what I wanted to do. Now, though, she was just double-checking if I was still as stupid as before.

“Yeah!” I announced proudly, trying to project more assurance than I felt. Apparently, neither of us was keen on the odds I’d stacked against us.

“The orc will probably be fine,” Edwig said. “And think of it this way: if he fails, it won’t be any of our problems anymore.”

“Yeah, quit yer bellyachin,’ future corpse!” I said over my shoulder with a grin. “It’s time to do silly shit. We can worry about the consequences if we die.”

“Well, fortunately—” Rua began, but I cut her off.

“Fortunately, nothing! This is going to work … probably.”

That had been close. I wasn’t sure, but it seemed like Rua had just been about to spill the beans on our unique heritage—and I wasn’t sure we could trust the three non-Sojourners to take it well. Sure, it was possible. Jes’s party had seemed pretty chill with it, but I still had a near-death hangover from revealing that juicy bit of backstory to Fawn. It just wasn’t … I needed to be sure before we blabbered about it to anyone. I gave Rua a pointed nudge that hopefully relayed what I’d been trying to do so she’d get the hint. Whether she understood or not, she didn’t continue, only nodding as if accepting her fate.

“Alright,” I said, turning back toward the oomukade queen, now so far away we couldn’t catch it any other way if we tried. “You all know what your roles are?”

“Yes,” Orville stated, happy to be helpful, it seemed. “The moment you take off, I am going to—”

“Dude!” I interrupted. “What are you doing?!”

Orville frowned, looking hurt that I’d scolded him.

“Reaffirming what our plans are in—”

“Never,” I hissed, pointing a deadly finger at him, “ever recap a plan after it’s been devised. That’s a guaranteed way to make sure it fails.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Orville asked, clearly confused by my statement. “I don’t think I underst—”

“Shush!” I demanded, pressing my index finger over his lips and pinching them closed. “Just hush, baby. Shut your mouth.”

He glared at me but remained silent. He didn’t even try to remove my hand from his face.

“Good,” I said. “We can’t be breakin’ movie rule number one when it comes to death-defying schemes to take down the baddies.”

“I mean, you’re right about that being a foreshadowing red flag,” Rua said. “But this isn’t a movie, Loon.”

“Of course it isn’t,” I said, then more quietly so only she could hear, I muttered, “but that doesn’t mean anything right now. We’re in a world with bizarre fuckin’ Dark Souls laws, yet I don’t think we’re inside an actual game.

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